Alex - High School and lack of interests

Dear ShykidsI am so sad and lost.   I am fourteen and just started high school this year.  I don't seem to have an interest in anything and I'm so boring,  Other kids seem to be so involved in things and I just don't get it.  Alex

Dear Alex, Yes, there are things you can do to change.  You are starting fresh in high school, with people who don't know you, who don't have preconceived notions about who you are.  This is a wonderful opportunity to start fresh and shine.

The first important thing to do is to find out who you are.  It's time to develop a real interest in finding out who you, Alex, are and who you want to be.  Are you a budding musician, a talented artist, a math whiz, a fabulous listener, a fast swimmer, a prolific writer?  Are you striving to be any of those things?  Do you like rock, blues, jazz, hip-hop, pop or new age music?  What TV shows do you love and what movies do you like to watch?  What kind of people would you like to have as friends.  When you dream about your life, where do your dreams take you?  It may help to 

keep a daily journal to keep track of your discoveries and to help keep you focused. Discovering the answers to these questions is a wonderful process.  Finding out who you are will lead you to new places, to taking classes with other kids with similar interests.  Do not make harsh judgments about your discoveries.  You have the right to your interests and your passions.  You have the right to be who you want to be.

So often, shy people suppress their desires and their dreams.  It is so frequently believed that it is easier to feel nothing, to believe nothing, to strive for nothing than to feel rejected because of not fitting in.  This is certainly not the answer.  You will not have common interests with everyone.  You will not like everyone and not everyone will like you.  But, when you do find those special things that interest you and people that make you feel at ease and at home, you will understand that the rewards of finding out who you are and gaining friends is worth a few emotional bumps and bruises along the way.  

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